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Ronnie Golden performs short excerpt from his solo show First A Fender at Field Of Stars, crnr Ave A/2nd St NYC
Biography
Early 1950s: Nothing.
Mid 1950s: Discover I'm good at something. Running. Fast.
Early 1960s: Getting faster. North Middlesex Grammar Schools 100 yds champion. 10.9secs.
Early 1960s: At 13 years of age I acquire a taste for the theatrical life with a finely-tuned performance as moustachioed detective in Uvedale House play "The Crimson Coconut". I go on to appear in several Enfield Grammar School plays including Brecht's "The Caucasian Chalk Circle" as a vicious corporal and Aristophanes' "The Frogs" as Gatekeeper of Hell. A pattern develops.
Mid 1960s: Discover I'm good at something else. The guitar. Little realise the lifelong obsession it will become.
Late 1960s: First professional paid work as teenage guitarist backing girl group The Chantelles touring theatres opening for Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdink and Scott Walker at seaside resorts around the UK.
Early 1970s: Succession of menial jobs working in newspaper company despatching advertising blocks followed by Tate Gallery Publications Dept.
Final 'proper' job as labourer at British Museum. Sacked for insubordination April 1975, the same week that my first single is released by Private Stock Recs - "Chicago Boxcar (Boston Back)" credited to a (pre-Fabulous) Poodles. That's 35yrs of getting away with it.
Mid 1970s: Lead singer/guitarist/songwriter with cult New Wave quartet Fabulous Poodles touring Holland, Belgium, Germany and the UK. Film TV shows in Cologne and Paris.
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Service essay writing descriptive college starters politics Late 1970s: Sign to Pye Records, home of Max Bygraves, Des O'Connor and Petula Clark. We know our place.
Lots of telly: Revolver (hosted by Peter Cook) and two Old Grey Whistle Test. Bob Harris hates us. Result.
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Early 1980s: Disband early 80s and start performing on burgeoning 'alternative' comedy circuit alongside Rik Mayall, Ade Edmondson, French & Saunders, Alexei Sayle etc and perform legendary "Buddy Holly" in BBC2's The Young Ones.
Form acapella comedy combo The Dialtones and appear with them in BBC2's Stomping On The Cat and Channel 4's Interference.
Early 1990s:Grudgingly tour UK for solid month of shows with American Pieman Don McClean and work Comedy Club in Lygon Street, Melbourne, plus some telly with Ray Martin Show in Sydney. Back to UK for lucrative voiceover work and win award for 'Most Interesting Use of Music' in Radio Commercial Awards.
2001: with Arthur Smith put show together "Arthur Smith Sings Leonard Cohen" for Edinburgh Festival which went on to West End success at Ambassadors Theatre followed by two performances at Montreal Comedy Festival 2002.
2002: starts writing and performing with Brit comedy legend Barry Cryer and has played every Edinburgh Festival with him since then and they still continue to tour UK theatres. Records Rock Of Ages with Barry for Radio 4 and releases cd Rock 'n' Droll(Laughing Stock).
Looking to take his 'guitar lesson/autobiography' solo show First A Fender to art centres and small theatres around the UK. Also thinking about writing a Fabulous Poodles stage musical called Mirror Star. Any offers from potential co-writers who have active experience in live theatre will be carefully considered.
If you would like to contact this man, please press the contact button. He needs it.
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Ronnie and the Rex
It's 1987 and I'm missing making a din; the kind of racket that can only be made by grown men with instruments and loud amplifiers.
Fortunately, my friend Justin has asked me to get together a combo to play at his leaving bash before he embarks for America's West Coast and a new life.
Whilst slumming at the Hackney Empire one Sunday night I bump into Harvey Brough, mainman with Harvey & The Wallbangers, and tell him I need to get hold of a bass player for Justin's do and he points me to former Wallbanger Richard Allen who lives right round the corner. I locate the flat and knock on the door which is eventually opened by the petite Rebeckah, Richard's wife. She shows me into the living room where I quietly sit till Richard surfaces. At this point something strangely prescient occurs: his cat suddenly starts pawing at a pile of 45rpm singles and pulls away the front one to reveal “When The Summer's Thru,” the first release by Fabulous Poodles! I had no idea he'd been a fan of my old band so it seemed only right to get him on board for the bash.
I asked Bryn, the Fab Poos' dynamite sticksman to get on the traps and hired James Compton's lightning boogie woogie fingers on keys. I'd recorded an album with guitarist Snowy White a couple of years before and worked with Loose Tubes 'loose cannon' trombonist Ashley Slater (who later went on to have a few hits with Norman Cook-produced funksters Freakpower). He was up for it and brought along a sax player.
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“Little white flowers will never awaken you, not
where the black coach of sorrow has taken you.”
Classic piece of aural doom ‘n’ gloom from the man
hailed as “The Velvet Fog” (or as The Guardian called him:“The Velvet
FROG.”) Beautifully, longingly exquisite evocation of the need to depart
this joyless life and join your deceased love in eternal bliss. Recorded by
many - amongst them Billie Holiday – but the end was always changed to
“and-then-I-woke-up-and-you-were-there” cop-out scenario so try and seek out
Mel for the best and bleakest denouement. Banned for several decades because
twenty-five vulnerable British souls took it all a little too close to heart
and jumped. Lightweights.
(Tall buildings and hard pavements)
2. SOMBRE DIMANCHE by Damia
Same ditty in original French by doomed chanteuse
with Russian choir in tow from 1936. Makes the Torme version look like
“Shaduppa You Face.” Une belle tristesse.
(Same method as above)
3. IS THAT ALL THERE IS? By Peggy Lee
The ultimate funeral song, written by Jerry Lieber
and Mike Stoller, for anyone who knows that “My Way” is a crap way of
looking back on your life: “Regrets? I’ve had a few...” I love Peggy Lee. I
read that she took a whole year before recording this because she knew
immediately that here was a very special piece of writing and she needed to
feel ready before committing it to vinyl so that she could totally inhabit
the song.
Darius, read it and weep.
(Pneumonia brought on by rainy perambulations in the
early hours)
4. RIVER’S INVITATION by Percy Mayfield
Possesses the big three ingredients for any
self-respecting wrist-slasher: water, sex and death. The greatest thing to
come out of Webster, Louisiana and one of the most discriminating and
emotionally-intelligent singer/writers who ever worked in the Blues idiom.
You don’ agree wit me ‘n’ you can hit the road, Jack, and doncha come back
no more.
(Death by drowning, of course)
5. THE NIGHT WE CALLED IT A DAY by Chet Baker
From ’57 session not released until a year or two ago
and recorded with just nylon-strung acoustic guitar and double bass.
“I heard the song of the spheres like a minor lament
in my ears” I misheard as “like a miner lamenting my years.”
(Chet chose the high window method)
6. THE HOUSE IS HAUNTED (BY THE ECHO OF YOUR LAST
GOODBYE)
by Mel Torme
One more from the sublime Marty Paitch-arranged
“Torme” album. A song I sing to myself more than is probably healthy. Title
says it all.
(Absynth makes the heart beat slower)
7. I’M A FOOL TO WANT YOU by Billie Holiday
The only song I’ve found with Sinatra credited as
co-writer. His version from late 50s is terrific as is Ketty Lester’s on
b-side of seminal “Love Letters” 45, but Ms. Holiday’s death rattle croak
from her later period is the most likely to have you running for the open
razor.
(Sleeping pills)
8.FAMOUS BLUE RAINCOAT by Jennifer Warnes
Originally, of course, sung by composer ‘Larfin’
Lenny’ Cohen and, following my involvement with Arthur Smith’s wonderful
interpretation, probably my favourite in the Cohen canon but this profits
from a clear and perfectly-rounded vocal performance.
(Heroin OD, maybe.)
9. GOODBYE by Frank Sinatra
From his best bleeding-heart ballads album “Frank
Sinatra Sings For Only The Lonely.” Twenty years ago I would iron gallons of
salty tears into unsuspecting shirts while this elegy to Ava Gardner
commandeered my turntable.
(Starvation through glorious self-disgust)
10. THE MAN WHO CAN’T LOVE ANYMORE by Me
Yes. Shameless self-promotion but…. fuck me it’s
good. An honest-as-possible overview of midlife inability to commit and
acceptance that maybe – just maybe – ‘love’ is a finite concept.
(Alcohol overkill leading to total renal collapse)
Bubbling under……
HOW YA GONNA KEEP ‘EM DOWN ON THE FARM by Max
Bygraves
From the “Discolongamax” album from ’79. Need I say
more?
(Suffocating on your own vomit)
Fabulous Poodles
Ronnie Golden sings 'Suicide Bridge' live in NYC 2012
It's hard to believe that thirty years have passed so effortlessly since the divorce.
John Parsons moved to Norfolk and paints, sculpts and writes haiku poems.
Toodle pip. Or should that be Poodle tip?
Comedy
Taking my new soubriquet 'Ronnie Golden' with me after the demise of Fabulous Poodles I ventured into the brand new world of 'alternative' comedy working alongside Alexei Sayle, Rik Mayall & Ade Edmondson, Nigel Planer & Peter Richardson, a nascent French & Saunders, a fresh-faced Ben Elton and a not-so-fresh-faced Arnold Brown in The Comic Strip which took over the tiny Boulevard Theatre in Soho.
I wore my gold lame jacket and sang a handful of novelty songs and generally humorous ditties I'd written during my time with the band and fleshed out the act with ever-growing comedic intros. One was about British 1950s bombshell Diana Dors, plus the mawkish ballad “Pinball Pinup,” a country song about a pathetic guy in love with the illustration of a woman on a pinball machine and a rockabilly tune concerning the death of a kitten caused by the Dr Marten boot of my then girlfriend and titled “Stomping On The Cat”.
When I first met Mark Lamarr he told me the record of this song was very collectable amongst hard core rockabillies!
As a solo comedian/musician I've since worked in New York, Dallas, New Orleans, Melbourne Comedy Festival, Brisbane, Amsterdam and Switzerland and all points west as well as decades of Edinburgh Festivals.
Barry Cryer and I will be performing a new show during the first week of the Edinburgh Festival August 2012.
